Tuesday, January 13, 2009
WHAT IS MARRIAGE???
1. Marriage is not a word.
It's a sentence (a life sentence).
2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.
3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her masters.
4. Marriage is a three-ring circus:
engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.
5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOUR listens.
6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.
7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.
8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.
9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her. Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!
11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.
13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.
16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
17. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe.
18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each other, but they still stay together.
19. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent.
21. I married Miss right; I just didn't know her first name was Always.
22. It's not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer.
23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
24. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL-MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE. WHAT HAPPENED, asked his friend. He says MY WIFE FOUND OUT.
25. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway
lighs on.
26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I, AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.
27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.
28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he received a hundred of letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.
30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.
It's a sentence (a life sentence).
2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.
3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her masters.
4. Marriage is a three-ring circus:
engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.
5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOUR listens.
6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.
7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.
8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.
9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her. Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!
11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.
13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.
16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
17. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe.
18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each other, but they still stay together.
19. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent.
21. I married Miss right; I just didn't know her first name was Always.
22. It's not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer.
23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
24. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL-MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE. WHAT HAPPENED, asked his friend. He says MY WIFE FOUND OUT.
25. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway
lighs on.
26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I, AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.
27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.
28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he received a hundred of letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.
30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Psychology of Caribbean people
A ship sank in high seas and the following people got
stranded on a beautiful deserted island in the middle
of nowhere:
a) 2 Jamaican men and 1 Jamaican woman
b) 2 Trinidadian men and 1 Trinidadian woman
c) 2 Guyanese men and 1 Guyanese woman
d) 2 Bajan men and 1 Bajan woman
e) 2 Antiguan men and 1 Antiguan woman
f) 2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman
g) 2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman
One month later, on various parts of the island, the
following was observed:
* One Jamaican man killed the other Jamaican man for
the Jamaican woman.
* One Trinidadian man kidnapped the Trinidadian woman
and asked the other Trinidadian man for the ransom.
* The two Guyanese men have a strict weekly schedule of
when they alternate with the Guyanese woman.
* The two Bajan men are sleeping together, and the
Bajan woman is cooking & cleaning for them.
* The two Antiguan men took a long look at the endless
ocean and a long look at the Antiguan woman, and they
started swimming.
* The two Chinese men are talking to all the other men
on the Island trying to sell them the Chinese woman.
* The 2 Indian men are still waiting for someone to
introduce them to the Indian woman.
I got this as a foward on email...LOL
stranded on a beautiful deserted island in the middle
of nowhere:
a) 2 Jamaican men and 1 Jamaican woman
b) 2 Trinidadian men and 1 Trinidadian woman
c) 2 Guyanese men and 1 Guyanese woman
d) 2 Bajan men and 1 Bajan woman
e) 2 Antiguan men and 1 Antiguan woman
f) 2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman
g) 2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman
One month later, on various parts of the island, the
following was observed:
* One Jamaican man killed the other Jamaican man for
the Jamaican woman.
* One Trinidadian man kidnapped the Trinidadian woman
and asked the other Trinidadian man for the ransom.
* The two Guyanese men have a strict weekly schedule of
when they alternate with the Guyanese woman.
* The two Bajan men are sleeping together, and the
Bajan woman is cooking & cleaning for them.
* The two Antiguan men took a long look at the endless
ocean and a long look at the Antiguan woman, and they
started swimming.
* The two Chinese men are talking to all the other men
on the Island trying to sell them the Chinese woman.
* The 2 Indian men are still waiting for someone to
introduce them to the Indian woman.
I got this as a foward on email...LOL
Monday, March 17, 2008
The 4 stages of trini love
from sevral emails..
Ah yes the universal truth, LOVE. Everybody falls in love sometime, everybody needs somebody sometime (I know someone famous sang that, I just can't remember who). All of us have been in LOVE at one point. Love, Amor, Amour, Liebe, Amore, call it what you want, it happens. But nobody could fall in Love like a Trini. We have stages of love and yuh boy goin to elaborate the schematics of this ting call love:
STAGE 1 - BAZODEE - Pronounced (Bah-Zoh-Deeeeeeeeee)
The boy meets the girl and buterflies fill his stomach. Every touch is electric, every glance is dramatic, he lingers on her every word. The sun reflecting off the morning dew reminds him of the way her eyes twinkle when the moonlight catches them. The time away seems like an eternity and when he sees her nothing else matters. He calls everyday and brings flowers on every date, he even writes her name on the back of his work pass so she will always be close to his heart.
STAGE 2 - Tutoulbay - Pronounced (Tut-ool-bay)
The girl's boss complains that she takes to many personal calls on the company phone, so the boy buys her a cell phone and pays the bill too. He doesnt want her tainted and ogled by the miscreants on the Maxi-Taxi so he decides to drop her to work and pick her up every day. This poses a dilema beacause she works further than him. No Problem. He picks her up at home and gives her the car, so she drops him to work and keeps the car for the day. His friends dont exist anymore because she said that they are too crass and he drinks too much during the week. He takes her shopping and holds the bags, he even sits on the benches in the middle of the mall while she has her Mani/ Pedi/ Hair day. Oh yes AMORE!!
STAGE 3 - Tabanca - Pronounced (Tah-Bank-Ahhhhhhhh)
So one day while she's shopping in Pennywise and he is sitting outside in the car waiting, he notices that she left her phone (which he bought and still pays bills for) by the hand brakes. Curiousity wins, he picks it up, 'New Message'.... yuh boy cyah help it, he read the message. 'Yesterday was great. Same time tommorow. Your body is HOTT'.....But what de Muddah #@$%??? Who de fokk texting my woman so? Cigarette light up one time. The vein on the forehead start to bulge. Leg shaking like dat. She returns from Pennyise and tries to hand him his Credit Card. 'Who de fokk is Andre, where he see you yesterday and how de fokk he know yuh body hot??' she reels for a second...'Oh Andre.....am he is my trainer...at the gym and he was commenting on my progress, you know i go to the gym to look good for you baby'.....yuh hear lie!!!....
So yuh boy calm dong, or so she thinks. Ah fellah called Cudjoe (for you Trinis that don't know, Cudjoe is a Private Detective Agency, yes we have dat in Trinidad). Cudjoe follow she for a week and reports to Mr. Loverman. 'Sir she has been going to the gym, TO PICK UP ANDRE, and then they proceded to Econo Guest House (before Jo Sing Pasta in Kelly.... I Think LOL) they spent 2 hours and then she came to pick you up.'
WHAT DE MUDDAH #@$%!!!!! As she reach is cuss...'Yuh fokkin hoe, gimme meh damn phone!', PASHAW (Trinidadian Onomatapia for the sound of something breaking) the phone hit the ground. 'Ah goh kill yuh Muddah #@%$, after all i do for you, dat is how u go repay me???.' 'But honey..' she attempts to speak. 'Doh fokkin honey me, i know bout you and Andre and fokkin Econo Guest house'.........she breaks down in tears 'You were smothering me, i found comfort in Andre's arms, I need space'....'Space??' he fires back 'Is Muddah #@$% space yuh want?? Yuh is a fokkin astronaut??'....she begins to cry uncontollably.
Meanwhile the Rapid Response 999 vehicle noticed the comotion, one time they done assume he ress a cut ass on she. Of course she cyah stop cryin so she can't confirm or deny the allegation( conveniently). Is jail in he ass!!!
STAGE 4 - Foofooloomps - Pronounced (Fou-Fou-Loumps)
After a good cut ass from the police followed the next morning by sincere apologies for the 'misunderstanding'. He sits at home, calls in sick for work for two weeks. Radio is stuck on 97 (Love Hurts by Nazereth is playing). The man doh answer no calls. He stop shaving and bathing, only on a have to must to basis. He tried calling her 4,345,876 times everyday to say he sorry and he want to make back up. She mother change the home number. Das it!!!
He pick up the SHARP CD player and he gone. There he stands baring his soul playing 'Baby Come Back - Vanessa Hudgens'. The window cracks, his heart leaps, a shadow appears....it's Andre and he is informed that a restraining order was taken out and the police are on the way. Not wanting the same royal treatment from the cops, he exits stage left. He was last seen on Curepe Junction drinking a bottle of Bay Rum singing 'Baby Come Back.......
Ah yes the universal truth, LOVE. Everybody falls in love sometime, everybody needs somebody sometime (I know someone famous sang that, I just can't remember who). All of us have been in LOVE at one point. Love, Amor, Amour, Liebe, Amore, call it what you want, it happens. But nobody could fall in Love like a Trini. We have stages of love and yuh boy goin to elaborate the schematics of this ting call love:
STAGE 1 - BAZODEE - Pronounced (Bah-Zoh-Deeeeeeeeee)
The boy meets the girl and buterflies fill his stomach. Every touch is electric, every glance is dramatic, he lingers on her every word. The sun reflecting off the morning dew reminds him of the way her eyes twinkle when the moonlight catches them. The time away seems like an eternity and when he sees her nothing else matters. He calls everyday and brings flowers on every date, he even writes her name on the back of his work pass so she will always be close to his heart.
STAGE 2 - Tutoulbay - Pronounced (Tut-ool-bay)
The girl's boss complains that she takes to many personal calls on the company phone, so the boy buys her a cell phone and pays the bill too. He doesnt want her tainted and ogled by the miscreants on the Maxi-Taxi so he decides to drop her to work and pick her up every day. This poses a dilema beacause she works further than him. No Problem. He picks her up at home and gives her the car, so she drops him to work and keeps the car for the day. His friends dont exist anymore because she said that they are too crass and he drinks too much during the week. He takes her shopping and holds the bags, he even sits on the benches in the middle of the mall while she has her Mani/ Pedi/ Hair day. Oh yes AMORE!!
STAGE 3 - Tabanca - Pronounced (Tah-Bank-Ahhhhhhhh)
So one day while she's shopping in Pennywise and he is sitting outside in the car waiting, he notices that she left her phone (which he bought and still pays bills for) by the hand brakes. Curiousity wins, he picks it up, 'New Message'.... yuh boy cyah help it, he read the message. 'Yesterday was great. Same time tommorow. Your body is HOTT'.....But what de Muddah #@$%??? Who de fokk texting my woman so? Cigarette light up one time. The vein on the forehead start to bulge. Leg shaking like dat. She returns from Pennyise and tries to hand him his Credit Card. 'Who de fokk is Andre, where he see you yesterday and how de fokk he know yuh body hot??' she reels for a second...'Oh Andre.....am he is my trainer...at the gym and he was commenting on my progress, you know i go to the gym to look good for you baby'.....yuh hear lie!!!....
So yuh boy calm dong, or so she thinks. Ah fellah called Cudjoe (for you Trinis that don't know, Cudjoe is a Private Detective Agency, yes we have dat in Trinidad). Cudjoe follow she for a week and reports to Mr. Loverman. 'Sir she has been going to the gym, TO PICK UP ANDRE, and then they proceded to Econo Guest House (before Jo Sing Pasta in Kelly.... I Think LOL) they spent 2 hours and then she came to pick you up.'
WHAT DE MUDDAH #@$%!!!!! As she reach is cuss...'Yuh fokkin hoe, gimme meh damn phone!', PASHAW (Trinidadian Onomatapia for the sound of something breaking) the phone hit the ground. 'Ah goh kill yuh Muddah #@%$, after all i do for you, dat is how u go repay me???.' 'But honey..' she attempts to speak. 'Doh fokkin honey me, i know bout you and Andre and fokkin Econo Guest house'.........she breaks down in tears 'You were smothering me, i found comfort in Andre's arms, I need space'....'Space??' he fires back 'Is Muddah #@$% space yuh want?? Yuh is a fokkin astronaut??'....she begins to cry uncontollably.
Meanwhile the Rapid Response 999 vehicle noticed the comotion, one time they done assume he ress a cut ass on she. Of course she cyah stop cryin so she can't confirm or deny the allegation( conveniently). Is jail in he ass!!!
STAGE 4 - Foofooloomps - Pronounced (Fou-Fou-Loumps)
After a good cut ass from the police followed the next morning by sincere apologies for the 'misunderstanding'. He sits at home, calls in sick for work for two weeks. Radio is stuck on 97 (Love Hurts by Nazereth is playing). The man doh answer no calls. He stop shaving and bathing, only on a have to must to basis. He tried calling her 4,345,876 times everyday to say he sorry and he want to make back up. She mother change the home number. Das it!!!
He pick up the SHARP CD player and he gone. There he stands baring his soul playing 'Baby Come Back - Vanessa Hudgens'. The window cracks, his heart leaps, a shadow appears....it's Andre and he is informed that a restraining order was taken out and the police are on the way. Not wanting the same royal treatment from the cops, he exits stage left. He was last seen on Curepe Junction drinking a bottle of Bay Rum singing 'Baby Come Back.......
