Friday, October 13, 2006
Email about the budget
----Original Message Follows----
Has anyone seen the budget?
The ANTI VICE BUDGET (Insert angelic voices clip and the face of Patrick Manning here)
Well anyone who likes to have any fun what so ever better take a look. Good ole' Uncle Patrick has raised the price of imported beer and alcohol by 30%, local grog and smokes by 15%.
Oh and no more lotto cause that is just destroying families, and no more Play Whe either cause that is devil ting.
So, all you Absolute, Dewars and Johnny Black drinkers and More Vino regulars, damn I'm in all those groups, time to switch to Puncheon or weed.
In fact I may have to start selling drugs to afford my liming and drinking habit.
On the bright side though, he did raise pensioners allowance by $100TT. Wow, $100 TT They must be shitting in their Depends with excitement now they can afford to by an extra pack of tomatoes a month. But don't let me get started on the price of tomatoes; we'll leave that for another day.
Let's hope none of these old people don't drink or smoke cause then they would be fucked like the rest of us.
To alleviate the traffic gridlock the Gov't have come up with a brilliant plan: Watertaxis.
No I did not stutter. I said Watertaxis. Where are we Venice?
The proposed route; Point Fortin to Carenage, with stops along the way.
Where are these stops? Caroni swamp? Movietowne? Fyzabad? What I want to know is, what colour will the stripe on the side of the boat be? Don't get me wrong though, I'm glad for both of those people that work in Carenage and live in Point Fortin, they have the right to public transport just like the rest of us.
But by far the best one is the consideration of Flexi-Time for Public Sector Workers. WHAT?!?!
I thought all they had was flexi-time. 'Cause whenever I go into a G'ovt office there ain't a soul in the place. So they must be off flexing somewhere.
Let's recap shall we:
*Drinkers - Fucked
*Smokers - Fucked
*Lotto, Play Whe players - Fucked
*Casino and Lotto operators - you guessed it, Fucked *Old People - A little less fucked *Old people who drink and smoke - Proper Fucked *Water taxi company getting the contract - Laughing *Government official who proposed the watertaxi plan and is getting a fat kick back so he can still smoke and drink - Laughing at us *Manning - Happy that he has done his part to curb the moral degradation rampant in this country; but fucked cause when he wakes up he's still Patrick Manning.
*Red blooded fun loving Trini's - we don't really care anymore because we've been getting fucked for a while now.
This email would have been so funny if it weren't so true. Lucky thing we have all that petroleum here.
Has anyone seen the budget?
The ANTI VICE BUDGET (Insert angelic voices clip and the face of Patrick Manning here)
Well anyone who likes to have any fun what so ever better take a look. Good ole' Uncle Patrick has raised the price of imported beer and alcohol by 30%, local grog and smokes by 15%.
Oh and no more lotto cause that is just destroying families, and no more Play Whe either cause that is devil ting.
So, all you Absolute, Dewars and Johnny Black drinkers and More Vino regulars, damn I'm in all those groups, time to switch to Puncheon or weed.
In fact I may have to start selling drugs to afford my liming and drinking habit.
On the bright side though, he did raise pensioners allowance by $100TT. Wow, $100 TT They must be shitting in their Depends with excitement now they can afford to by an extra pack of tomatoes a month. But don't let me get started on the price of tomatoes; we'll leave that for another day.
Let's hope none of these old people don't drink or smoke cause then they would be fucked like the rest of us.
To alleviate the traffic gridlock the Gov't have come up with a brilliant plan: Watertaxis.
No I did not stutter. I said Watertaxis. Where are we Venice?
The proposed route; Point Fortin to Carenage, with stops along the way.
Where are these stops? Caroni swamp? Movietowne? Fyzabad? What I want to know is, what colour will the stripe on the side of the boat be? Don't get me wrong though, I'm glad for both of those people that work in Carenage and live in Point Fortin, they have the right to public transport just like the rest of us.
But by far the best one is the consideration of Flexi-Time for Public Sector Workers. WHAT?!?!
I thought all they had was flexi-time. 'Cause whenever I go into a G'ovt office there ain't a soul in the place. So they must be off flexing somewhere.
Let's recap shall we:
*Drinkers - Fucked
*Smokers - Fucked
*Lotto, Play Whe players - Fucked
*Casino and Lotto operators - you guessed it, Fucked *Old People - A little less fucked *Old people who drink and smoke - Proper Fucked *Water taxi company getting the contract - Laughing *Government official who proposed the watertaxi plan and is getting a fat kick back so he can still smoke and drink - Laughing at us *Manning - Happy that he has done his part to curb the moral degradation rampant in this country; but fucked cause when he wakes up he's still Patrick Manning.
*Red blooded fun loving Trini's - we don't really care anymore because we've been getting fucked for a while now.
This email would have been so funny if it weren't so true. Lucky thing we have all that petroleum here.
# posted by Skratchy @ 11:15 AM 
