Plain Talk from Skratchy

After posting the information on homemade rum this was the next logical step.

Ingredients.
Newspaper (Section on Politics)
Toilet Paper
Spinach
Dried Mint
Dried Oregano
Tea Bags
Lighter or Matches

Step One: Prepare Your "Tobacco."

Cigarettes, or at least the idea of smoking crap out of a rolled up bit of paper or leaves, have been around for thousands of years. Unlike other inmate-inspired projects, like making pruno, rolling homemade cigarettes is uncomplicated, provided you understand the basic steps, which are the same whether you're rolling a Spinach Cig or a Menthol Knock-Off.

Start with the most basic, tried-and-true homemade smoke -- the spinach cigarette. But before you can stop, drop, and roll that salad up, the spinach needs to be dried out.

1. Buy one pound of spinach and a newspaper you've never read before, preferably something with a lot of names, numbers and places in it.
2. Cover an article you can't comprehend with some leafy green spinach and
3. feel good about combining two things that you don't enjoy -- spinach and reading the business page -- in one activity designed to mimic something you do enjoy, which is smoking.
4. Wait three days for your spinach to learn all about how Trinidad's push for a smelter will be the best thing for our coutry, so that you can learn it too, when you smoke the spinach.

By the time your spinach understands the economics of currency revaluation, it should be completely dry. This will take your spinach about four days. Once dried, it is completely possible to scrunch the spinach between your fingertips, but those of you with a penant for using kitchen tools should note the following directions.

1. Take the dried spinach, which will look exactly like weed and
2. throw it into that cute little blender/chop chop combo that is in your kitchen and you hardely ever use.
3. You will now have utterly useless, ground up, dried spinach. Wee. Dried mint , Dried Oregano or tea from tea bags can be added at this point to add a different taste.

ROLL Your Paper

Many prefer to use toilet paper, which is easy to obtain, easy to roll and extremely quick burning. Try to find a nice double- or triple-ply, if you can, and avoid using quilted or ribbed papers, which may be harder for newcomers to roll. While using toilet paper is the simplest method, the end result is also the least desirable, looking like some cigarillo/tampon hybrid that's hard to take a big pull off of. So if you can afford bamboo paper then that can be used.

1. Start by putting a small-to-medium sized amount of dried spinach on the toilet paper, then carefully
2. fold the left side of the paper over,
3. followed by the right side of the paper. Next,
4. fold up the bottom, creating a little "pouch" for the dried spinach, which
5. you can then roll up -- taking care not to rip the paper like a useless clod -- into
6. a finished toilet paper-based smoke.