Plain Talk from Skratchy

In my first post for 2007..this is a light note. Happy new year to all.


Firstly, Trinbago people does claim dey is unified and one, buh we still like to identify we as from different quarters of de country.... Hence:

Yuh know you from South:

1)When yuh does "pull-bull" as a hobby.
2)When yuh tink Pt.Fortin is de capital of crime.
3)When other sectors of de country cyah understand yuh when yuh speaking.
4)When yuh feel yuh is a pretty boy or yuh know yuh is a skettle.
5)When yuh Friday evening lime is eatin' oyster and hittin' a strip pub.
6)When yuh does still walk around in ah buss-up jockey shorts and rubber slippers on ah Sunday afternoon stroll.
7)When yuh main objective is to tackle any gyul under 16 or fella over 30.
8)When yuh didn't have to pass Common Entrance to be ah genius....
9)When yuh tink Gulf City is de most happening place...
10)When yuh know Johnny Soong is ah asshole!

Yuh know yuh from North-West:

1)When yuh does date yuh best-friend ex-woman or he sister.
2)When dah same gyul does check for yuh fadder.
3)When yuh does talk with ah accent.
4)When you say skettle, yuh does mean yuh girlfriend and/or sister.
5)When yuh feel dat yuh more advanced dan de rest ah we.
6)When every two words out yuh mouth is MUDDACUN*
7)When yuh have no sexual preference.
8)When yuh does watch MTV 24 hrs a day.
9)When yuh feel yuh is a true Bob Marley fan an' ting but yuh doh go to Matsimela and Spectrum concerts'cause dat not "your kinda crowd."
10)When yuh never get blank from Coconuts or Base.

Yuh know yuh from Central:

1)When yuh feel doubles is part of a staple diet.
2)When yuh have a Chris Garcia poster.
3)When yuh still feel dat sugarcane is TnT's main source of income.
4)When yuh last name either ends< with -Singh or start with Ram-.
5)When yuh iz ah die-hard UNC supporter.
6)When yuh does always carry ah cutlass in yuh car.
7)When yuh idea of liming is Mastana Bahar on a Saturday.
8)When yuh have a hammock in every room of yuh house.
9)When yuh always smelling o' rum.
10)When yuh still claiming dat Lara originally from Couva.

Yuh know yuh from the East-West corridor area:

1)When yuh tink de best doubles from Curepe juction.
2)When yuh feel dat Trincity Mall is de 'boss' place to be.
3)When yuh always smiling.
4)When yuh tell every girl or boy yuh meet dat you is ah born-again virgin.
5)When yuh does lime in Chameleon every week.
6)When 110km/hr is de slowest speed yuh could drive.
7)When yuh does breeze up de bus-route ILLEGALLY to get home.
8)When yuh claim yuh date all de Sunday Punch girls.
9)When yuh push drugs at least once.
10)When yuh claim dat you is ah born alcoholic.

We cyah fuhget 'Bago now! Yuh know yuh from Tobago and NOT Trinidad:

1)When yuh overweight,built,tall and dark-genetically.
2)When yuh does still say "Doodoo darling...."
3)When yuh aunt name is Miss Jean.
4)When yuh does take soap and shampoo to the beach.
5)When yuh tink KFC have de best chicken still.
6)When yuh could say "Hello, I have ah big dick" in German.
7)When yuh does eat yam and eddoes for breakfast.
8)When yuh first choice in primary school was Signal Hill.
9)When yuh know a woman called Simona personally.
10)When yuh idea of taking a trip is hopping de Panorama over to de sister isle.